Summer's gone

Amidst some of the coldest temperatures Florida will see all year round, I got caught thinking back to the days of summer this past week and pulled out a few old photos from summer. Mind you, I didn't think too much of these photos when I took them, but after some massaging in Photoshop I was quite fond of the images. I guess the mixed holiday feelings have me appreciating these shots quite a bit more. This year I am not quite feeling the "holiday spirit." Between the stresses of holiday shopping and arrangements for how much time Shanti and I will split between our families on those "special days", I could really just hop on a cruise ship and disappear. If only the Florida Lottery would be so kind I really would just vanish off the radar. Admittedly, I am a bit of a Scrooge this year and found myself daydreaming of what next summer will be like. Not a single ornament adorns this apartment.

I can just imagine the escape so clearly. I would drive my ratty 93 Nissan to Tallahassee and claim my winnings. From there I would probably abandon my car and fly straight to Europe. Upon touching down I would shop for whatever camera I have gotten sick over from flipping through magazine ads. Perhaps I'd buy myself a Hasselblad H1 - obviously, a camera I have no business handling at my inexperienced infancy stage in photography - and wander about aimlessly photographing anything in sight. I would not pay any attention to time nor location. I would not worry too much about being mugged for my gear. I could just go buy another. The sights, smells, and sounds would all be new experiences. I can already imagine the photographs I would produce. They would reflect much enthusiasm from the eyes of someone who has spent countless hours daydreaming of a vacation in a cultured society. I guess it would be like tossing a gambling addict dead in the middle of Las Vegas with a few million to blow.

I am caught up in the middle of this photography hobby. It is quite maddening really. I have spent close to 20 hours a week for who knows how long dedicating myself to reading anything photography related so that I can possibly learn something. Remember the character "Neo" from "The Matrix?" Well, that is the closest comparison I can make to what I am going through. I am searching for the answer to a question that has no answer. Shanti would rather think of me as "Johnny 5" from the movie "Short Circuit." She says that my brain absorbs the knowledge of every letter that runs in front of my eyes. Sleep has become a large waste of time. I wish I could make up for years of experience with hours of endless reading. I will be the fool that tries.

Just this morning (at 3:00 am) I made an impulse camera purchase. At $47 ($32 + $12 shipping) it may have been an impulse buy, but after many evenings lurking for an opportunity was it? An eBay seller had a 1957 Yashica C TLR with a "Buy it Now" price set at $35. The auction had only been listed for about 3 hours when I came across it. Per his description the camera is supposed to be clean and in full working order. (The picture I included in this dialog is the one the seller provided on Bay. Looks good to me.) Anyone who has any familiarity with TLR cameras should know that the price I picked up this camera for was a relatively good deal. If I had it my way I would have purchased a used Rolleiflex, Yashica MAT series, Bronica, Mamiya, or some other quality used camera. The fact of the matter is that beyond a Holga, Lubitel, or Seagull, there is no other low budget TLR medium format camera out there for someone interested in experimenting with higher quality medium format photography. I will just cross my fingers that my Yashica C is top notch preowned gear. If all is right with the camera, I can already forsee a lovely evening of cleaning my new find with a bowl of dilluted Simple Green cleaner and some q-tips.

In short, the holidays are sucking this year. One minor inconvience would include having to work on a Puerto Rican's most festive holiday. Look for me on the sidelines during this weekend's Bucs vs. Falcons game which will conveniently be held on Dec. 24. Oh, how I wish I could just spend one quarter with my D100 in my hand! Now *that* would be somewhat of a redeeming quality to this whole stressball week of commercialized fun! Perhaps my New Year's wish will come true. If not, just look for me on the sidelines. Yes, I work on New Year's Day too. On that day I will more than likely be holding nothing but the insides of my pockets watching a Bucs regular season end.

To everyone else, enjoy your holidays. George Costanza's father had the right idea by inventing "Festivus." Perhaps I will come up with something similar but tied into photography. How about "Photoholics Day?" Whatever...summer will be back again soon and my thoughts will be far from Christmas and the obligations entangled in the holiday. Maybe I will make another trip to Ron Jons on Cocoa Beach and do some surfing. Or, I'll just take pictures of surfers. Whatever.

Be good. Rub your lucky rabbit's foot for me. I promise I'll share the lottery winnings. Humbug.